Past the breaking point.

So, after my first battle, that ended in a defeat, I took to the air with my Stuka one more time. My reward? Well, I finally crossed over the threshold of experience to advance up to the next tiered aircraft. Before I made that purchase, I took a look at how well I did with this tier V German Attack Aircraft....

Ugh, I guess I didn't do so hot in it, after all. Perhaps I will just hold on to it, saving me to re-buy it a later date, to "fix" those numbers, if I can.

Nevertheless, I retain my Stuka crew for their new ride, the tier VI Junkers Ju 88 P. I felt pretty good about the fact I progressed to this point in the German line and hoped I would fair better than the plane I was leaving behind.

Not only was the first battle a disaster, it set a precedent that would follow me through out the rest of my gaming session....

....despite my best efforts, I just couldn't either pull off a win, or contribute in any significant way for my team to collect those victory rewards. I shot down a few aircraft along the way, didn't make any difference. I blasted away at ground targets, for nothing. I even had one match where one of my teammates gave off the impression they were afraid to fire their weapons at enemy aircraft!

I stubbornly/stupidly kept on clicking the "Battle" button, with the hopes the next sortie would bring me a good team to be on, a bad team to fight, or that "magic moment" where my skills and the newest addition to my hangar would just all come together.

Now, I have had losing streaks before, even worse than what I experienced today. However, I have been looking for any kind of a sign to take a break from World of Warplanes for sometime now. For a long list of reasons, that have culminated over a very long period of time now, this is enough to warrant a vacation from the skies.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a "goodbye", more of a "cya later".

Emotional and interest retention impasse

A funny thing is happening to me. Just coming up short on being with the World of Warplanes community for 2 years now and my interest in playing, coupled with any desire participating in discussions on the North American forums is almost nonexistent.

During the early days of Planes, the community was alive and vibrant with many different people, almost for all walks of life, talking, laughing and sharing thoughts and concerning with the direction the game was going in. From the Alpha Testers through to those who came in during the Open Beta phase, we were, for the most part, united with the passion for the planes, the virtual combat experience and the vision the game was advertising to us and the public in general.

Then, things started to go horribly wrong. To list everything that could be deemed "bad" about the game would take more space to post and time to read it all then this blog (and writer) would allow. However, I stuck it out during these "dark times" and continued to play, even a certain class of aircraft that have a "known dislike" by particular people, even to this day.

At first, I set out my goals that I wanted to accomplish, namely putting my first tier X in my hangar. With my acquirement of the IL-40P, I scratched that one off the list. Next, I moved around and up some of the other classes of aircraft from just about all the nations. American Heavy Fighters, Japanese Fighters and British aircraft, just to name a few. Despite performing rather poorly, it kept me in the game with something to do and hopes that I would be "touched by magic" and become better with them and the others.

With the introduction of the "Mission Aircraft", I jumped on board with attempting these tasks and collecting those rare warbirds for my hangar. Everytime one of these would pop up, I would post away my thoughts and progress on the main forums. I haven't done that in quite a while now, in fact, my last comment on that topic was pretty much me saying "nope" to the current "Mosquito Mission".

I stopped trying to collect any of the hard-to-get premiums that are being offered months ago. Part of the reason for this was twofold. One, the mission requirements were, in my opinion, too high. I don't mind a challenge, but at least make it possible. The whole "War Cache" event from this last May opened my eyes to the fact that even the North American server's most dedicated players couldn't pull it off, in full.

Second, the planes being offered don't really interest me enough to even try. The Yak-3RD, a one gun, rocket assisted, tier VII premium Soviet Fighter was one of the very first missions I never even bothered to attempt. Then, came the lower tiered aircraft that did just about nothing for me. The only recent exception was the premium tier III British Attack Aircraft, Wirraway, for obvious reasons.

But, enough about the planes, what about the community? From my own observations, many of those names from the early days which became familiar on the forums and ingame  have either gone back to World of Tanks, moved on to World of Warships or just fell off the face of the earth. While some of the "old crowd" is still around on the forums, they are mostly outnumbered by names I don't recognize ingame.

I appears to me the remaining "old guard" continue to haunt both the forums and game out of habit and hope, not so much out of participation and purpose. Although I haven't fully escaped the forums altogether myself, I spend more time reading then posting there. I made my move long ago now, with no regrets.

Sadly, this brings me to the "state of the game" itself. The same old "last player standing/beat the Supremacy clock" mode is about the only thing for the mixed Player vs Player/Player vs Environment that is being offered. While there is an alternate Player-team-filled-out-with-bots-vs-the-same mode, it isn't a very rewarding experience in the long run, since the requirements for collecting anything tangible multiplies at an exponential rate. Other than "Holiday/Special Event" modes like this last Christmas' "Snowball Fight with Flying Saucers", there isn't anything new to do.

Which brings me near the end of this rant. I have stopped playing all of the other nations and classes, with a narrow exception. Everyday, when I have time, I just login, click the tier V Stuka and collect the daily modifier for the first victory. Then, I log out, done for the day. That isn't playing, that's continuing a habit. I feel no passion for playing an aircraft I waited so long for WarGaming to bring to the game. And, that was my "wake-up call" to what I was doing and the stagnate environment I was continuing to occupy.

Even now, as I look back over this very post, I am very surprised with myself, not only for finally coming to terms with where I am at, but the very fact it took me this long to realize it. The question is this, should I just continue on as I always have or like so many others before me, step away and see what the future brings, if anything?

Anatomy of a battle, including the "human factor".

During my progression through the tier V German Attack Aircraft, Stuka Ju 87 G, I have been a witness to quite a few things along the way. Sometimes, blowout victories for either team that would make the word "epic" seem so under-descriptive. I have been that "last man standing" and pulled off what would be considered "the impossible", partly from luck with just a dash of skill in the mix. However, it is so easy to get caught of in the moment, forgetting that this is just a game, with real people involved and invested in the outcome for the respective teams.

Here is a battle that illustrates the what I am talking about. From H5, I dive down and to the left, my plan is to attack the enemy ground targets at D3/E4. The rest of my team decides to chase an enemy Heavy Fighter around the H6 area. The group takes that threat down as I continue to work over the remaining ground targets in the upper left quadrant of the map. Now, I was being totaly oblivious to what was going on, I was just more focused on what I was doing.

At the almost four minute mark, I see the message I dread most while flying a GA, "You are ther last hope for your team! All allies are destroyed!". Nice and the enemy team has two Zeros left. Knowing the last know location of the enemy team was around the F9 area and with me being on the other side of the map, I decided to "bank and bait". The "bank" part was to build up more of a lead in Supremacy and also hedge in more experience and credit earning potential, in case things "went south" on me. The "bait" part, the enemy would see my flashes from their attacked ground targets, giving away my position, my "trail of breadcrumbs" that I was hoping they would follow.

From around the B3 area, I started to head south along the 2 line, blasting away at ground targets in my path. One eye on the ground, the other turned up towards the sky. I was hoping to draw them out and down towards my "green zone", bristling with active and operational AA guns. The first Zero came in from behind, my rear gunner was waiting for them with a loaded weapon.

I came in low and weaved among the friendly ships, using their AA guns to help cover me against the pursuit. One Zero knocked down and the last one was waiting for me, somewhere. At was at this point the "human factor" started to show through. The player of the last Zero must have figured out what my plan was and they didn't like it. Honestly, I can't blame them for feeling the way they did, I have been in almost the same situation myself on many occasions. Stay away, live and lose, or drop down and take a chance on killing me, but taking fire in the process. In a Zero, the latter isn't the most recommended option and I knew this.

Okay, I admit now, looking back, that I didn't add another positive to the situation. I knew what they wanted me to do, come out from my protective zone and fight. Yeah, because giving up that, speed and maneuverability to face a enraged Zero in "honorable combat" was totally the right thing to do! However, I disregarded that option for my own, stay in the "green zone" and let my remaining opponent make their choice of how the battle was going to end for both teams.

Now, for those people out there who believe having a "internet persona", which could either be slightly different or the complete opposite of who you really are is a good thing, I offer up an alternative....

During this conversation, as I was orbiting inside my protective zone, I was being completely honest and empathic to this player. They took the chance on sharing their frustrations, inside a video game, about their problems and difficulties. I know, for a fact, if I was anybody else, not the real me, I could have turned this into a real flame fest and caused emotional harm to this individual. In fact, the conversation most likely would have been continued in Private Messages in my hangar, when the battle ended and escalating even further.

But, I am not that person, either in real or my virtual life. Honesty and respect is a lot more genuine than telling somebody to "git gud" or "grow a thicker skin". However, I am not a pushover or some naive "everything is awesome, here is a medal for just showing up, pat everyone on the back after their defeats" type either. I took the time to listen and acknowledge this player, balancing that with trying to win the battle for myself and my team. Proof, that some folks can do....both.

Despite the spelling mistake, I meant what I said, just before the following screen closed out the match....